Thursday, August 14, 2008

Life of Brian Daily Quote

OK - I was trying to find a Life of Brian (LOB) quote to go with my movie ranking, but ended up nearly pasting the entire script into my comment!
So I've decided to post a daily (or weekly, bi-weekly, whenever the F I feel like it!) quote from LOB.

We start where we should - at the beginning...

The Nativity: in a stable in Bethlehem, a baby lies in a manger. His mother, Mandy, is startled by the noise as three camels arrive outside.]
Mandy: Aarrgh! Who are you?
Wise Man 2: We are three wise men.
Mandy: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
Wise Man 3: We are astrologers.
Wise Man 2: We have come from the East.
Mandy: Is this some kind of joke?
Wise Man 1: We wish to praise the infant.
Wise Man 2: We must pay homage to him.
Mandy: Homage? You're drunk, it's disgusting! Out! The lot, out! Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
Wise Man 1: No, no, we must see him.
Mandy: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
Wise Man 2: We were led by a star.
Mandy: Led by a bottle, more like. Get out!
Wise Man 3: We must see him. We have brought gifts.
Mandy: OUT!
Wise Men: Gold! Frankincense! Myrrh!
Mandy: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there.....Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh anyway?
Wise Man 3: It is a valuable balm.
Mandy: A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.
Wise Man 3: What?
Mandy: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
Wise Man 1: No, it isn't.
Mandy: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
Wise Man 3: No, no, no. It is an ointment.
Mandy: Aww, there is an animal called a balm,... or did I dream it? So, you're astrologers, eh? Well, what is he then?
Wise Men: Hmm?
Mandy: What star sign is he?
Wise Man 1: Capricorn.
Mandy: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man 2: He is the son of God... our Messiah.
Wise Man 1: King of the Jews.
Mandy: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man 3: No, no — that's just him.
Mandy: Oh. I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.

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