Friday, August 15, 2008


By Angie
Have you ever had one of those days? New technology, new car place, new shoes, and finding a new job all in one hour? Well folks, it happened to me just the other day. It has taken me over 48 hours to get over it and it still leaves me believing that I must be a 7th grader inside a middle-aged woman's body.
Back in June, I wisely purchased a new-to-me Honda Pilot. We refer to it as the "Cadillac" because it has leather interior, heated seats, and everyone knows Loonies don't drive super nice looking cars. Nice cars, but not super looking good cars. Not on this branch of the family tree for instance. Well, what can I say, I guess I didn't read the fine print before signing the marriage certificate? Anways, I also am looking for a new job. Possibly a new career but definitely a job that is from 8 to 5.
Now back to the day. When I needed the oil changed in my new to me "Cadillac" instead of going to my beloved friends, I went to the dealer because of the maintenance agreement we signed up for. Oh, did I mention, we Loonies never sign up for maintenance agreements-except for this time.

Now this day I decided to dress-up for work and wear a new dress with matching shoes. Why? At this time in my life, middle age, I am trying to dress for success that is what I am doing. Trying to boost my already practically non-existent self esteem. My beautiful new shoes seem to be too high with no support. However, they are beautiful sling-back charcoal grey sandals. Did I mention they are missing rubber soles? So that means they are slippery on any surface other than gravel.

So, now I am wearing shoes that I don't feel comfortable in, going to a car place that I don't feel comfortable in, and my "Cadillac" is covered in a thick layer of gravel dust and grime. Dressed for success? My new to me "Cadillac" needs a car washing. So, I decided to try out a car wash. I have been to this car wash, but not in awhile, obviously. I pull up, and realize I don't have exact change. So I put in a ten spot and the machine REJECTS it. What the f**k I say. I try again. Rejected again. So I start putting in dollar bills. No, they won't accept this one, but they do the other. But I only have 5 dollars and I needed six. The last Washington I had got rejected. So, turning off my "Cadillac" leaving it parked directly in front of the car wash I walk into the convenience store. The lines are six people deep, on both cash register's. Did I say this was over the lunch hour? It was. So I pull aside a clerk and ask her, "Do you have anything to do with that car wash out there? It won't take my cash. She says, " I will help you, stand in line Mam." Did I say there were about 12 people already standing in line? Did I tell you that I couldn't stand up without slipping while walking into line? Well, now I just did. So, I stood in line. Dressed for success. In beautiful shoes that I couldn't stand up in. In a pretty dress but sliding all over the place. I jumped gracefully to the next cashier when that line became shorter. That cashier who didn't KNOW me had no idea WHAT I was talking about when I asked her about the car wash. I had to start over. That machine out there won't accept my CASH. I explained I filled up on pump 3 and went to get a car wash. I already put in this much money and it won't accept my other bills and I just wanted to wash my dirty, filthy, "Cadillac" that I obviously have no business driving around in because dressed for success only means I am fooling NO ONE. So flatly she hands me a receipt with a code to punch in. THE HOLY CODE. Walking back to the car wash without trying to fall off my towering heels, I try to compose my dignity. I punch in the code, only I punch in the wrong code, three different times. Did I say I was beginning to have a bad day? Now it is confirmed. I am having a bad, bad day. Got the code punched in right, so I drive in. Of course I drive too far and have to back up. My mirrors are getting hit by this huge red thing. What have I done? Am I going to have the paint peeled off my "Cadillac" before I even paid my second car payment? Did I mention that I don't even have to make the payments? Yes, I am a spoiled rich girl driving a "Cadillac" that Sugar-Daddy pays for. Except we are Loonies, the Sugar Daddy reminds me on a daily basis.
Then, I get the phone call that I have been waiting for. The one call that will step up my career. You know, make me successful. My heart is pounding. But, I have all the confidence of a two-ton elephant. I am a Looney. Then I hear it. "We are interviewing candidates and sorry but you are not one of them."
In disbelief, I don't even get into the interview portion of the job? "What?" I asked unbelieving to my ears. "Sorry," the voice says on the other end, "You don't have enough experience. " De Ja Vu.....those were the words said to me over 20 years ago when I got into this biz. Now, officially I am having the WORST day of my career.
Morale of this story...."Cadillacs" are nice to look at as I'm driving my beat-up Ford.


Susan said...

Aaaarrggghhh! So sorry -- about the job especially, but the whole day or lunch hour as well. (When will we learn not to try to do ANYTHING on our lunch hour but eat?)

The shoes sound gorgeous -- to keep on display....

Angie said...

Size 9 wanna borrow them anytime?

Next week...we eat everything on our plate.