Monday, November 23, 2009

A Concept

Sometimes, I come up with the idea and have to let it out. Not wanting to wait, I wish to spit it out like that bad taste of Black Velvet that hits my lips when the husband says, "Here, mouthwash! I want everyone to read my words. I want to share with the millions of Looney Talk subscribers. And then the worry sets in. Like a black film beginning to build on the surface of the bathroom mirror as my spouse is in the shower. The confidence police start circling, waiting for the slightest moment of inadequacy. Hoping to catch me in the act of failing. And then the paranoia hoovers like a Black Hawk helicopter, waiting for me to finish my repulsive act and it strikes me hard to the cool, damp ground. They all are taking over my ideas, my words, my concept.
Shakespeare wrote "to be or not to be, that is the question?" After all the years of trying to figure out just what the bleep he was talking about, I think I have it figured out. If I were to write about my concept right now, it would be open to ridicule before it was even polished. It could possibly be stolen, someone else could take credit for it. All the creative flare I have dedicated to my project- taken in one swift move, similiar to that of a hawk making off with our farmyard chicken.
So, should I write my concept down in the blog? Let the readers put their two cents in. Or wait for the day when I actually do write my concept. Write it down and submit it to some twenty-something year old Hollywood script reader who wouldn't know a good story from a hole in his shoe. He would scribble on my script, "This would not sell! No one would watch. No one would read this." Oh, the negativity monster creeps in, taking all shred of human value I possess in my soul.
Pondering the infamous question of Shakespeare, I will sit upon my rock and challenge my mind, to be or not to be.