Saturday, August 30, 2008
So, we bought paint and painted the house and garage!
The moral of the story is: Always go canoeing!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Have you ever been asked that question? What would you have changed? Maybe you were in a job interview. How are you suppose to answer that? Do you want the truth, future employer? What is the right answer. Honestly, I ask? What exactly are you looking for? Do you want a crystal ball reader? The last time I was asked this, I said in a nutshell, I really wish I wouldn't have put my foot in my mouth. Now, too honest? What gives? Provide me with some insight readers. Yes, you know I am looking for something, because I have yet another story to pass along. You are going to have to wait for this one.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
$100 an hour.
I'll get back to you.
What was it I was going to do for you again?
Oh, that's right. I'll get right on it.
I'll call you.
I'm sorry, I was really busy.
What were we talking about?
I'm glad you called me.
I have it here somewhere.
Don't worry - I'll take care of it.
Sorry, its been crazy around here.
Now what was it again?
I'll send you the bill.
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hersheyʼs kiss
The rest of the Hersheyʼs kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars
Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts
Send this to 4 women and you will lose 2 pounds
((You see....by posting this I don't have to send it and I'll still lose 2 pounds. Probably 2 million because that is how many readers we have reading our blog.))
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear.
Now how many of you get these on a daily basis and they sound REALLY great until you get the bottom and it says if you don't email 5 people in the next 5 minutes you'll get 5 years of bad luck, or something along those lines? So, I just posted this on our blog, you can read it and concentrate and think about it and realize that the spirit that makes us is pretty cool. Now, if I get to work and find out that I'm f**ked out of a job, that might suck at first, but somebody else will think it is good. (Probably not the family banker man!)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
20 chickens (and declining!)
including the bad-ass rooster Wino, and his butt-boy sidekick Blackie
18 outdoor cats (The actual Matriarch of the family was Nellie. Father was Big Balls)
Grey Mama(Her Mom was "Talkie" and Talkie's Mom was Marshmellow and her mom was Nellie) - matriarch and nice, albeit somewhat feral, main-mama
Black Mama (Her Mom was Sylvia and her mom was Nellie)- and not a very good one at that - so no more motherhood for her!
M.J. (Murphy Junior) - a super nice gray-brown tabby Tom that we love so much we got him "fixed" so he wouldn't run off. He still picks fights with the other males, however. He looks a lot like Murphy.
Tippy - white with brown markings, tips of her ears and tail are white. Deep blue eyes. Twin sister to one of my all-time favorites, Squeak (named for the way she would yell at me as a newborn as I walked by the box the kittens were in). Poor Squeak lost an eye and nearly lost a leg and eventually used up all 9 lives. Squeak really loved me and I still miss her.
Patch - White with patches (get it?) of gray and brown. Nice cat who lives in the woods, but comes in to eat and go on walks.
Bootie Barker - beautiful silver male with white booties, named after a NASCAR crew chief.
Precious - a fluffy orange MALE, very cranky (possibly due to his name?)
Henry - named after Henry Rawlings, as they both yell a lot, he is a sweetheart orange tabby who was under-sized at birth and we weren't sure he was going to make it.
Diego - another orange male tabby (ankle-biter!) Diego's brother Baby ran off, (another name issue?) we think he's the top Tom prowling the neighborhood. Dad was a wandering, dark orange tom with dark yellow eyes named Norman New Cat.
Blondie - little orange tabby female (and my special friend!)
Simba - Blondie's twin sister who is extremely feral!
Myron - smallish gray-brown tabby with beautiful blue eyes!
Sausage & Cheese - pretty, fluffy calico, aptly named by Iron Man
Tigger - nice orange tabby, very friendly kitten
Frosty - (or Frosted Alps, Frosted Flakes, etc.) Tig's twin sister, extremely feral!
China - another wild kitten, cool black and gray mottled color, named after Asia, similar in color, who had the map of Asia on her forehead! (R.I.P., Asia)
Socks - kitten similar to Bootie, very cute, we are desperately trying to tame him!
Meredith - had a sibling, Grey (Meredith Grey, TV fans) who didn't survive living in the barn. Meredith is the sweetest little calico you could ever meet. (See below)
Krunchy - big, black, loving Alpha dog (His Mom was Annie and died 4 weeks after giving birth. I had to bottle feed him and his other 3 littermates. He came to work with me. Cutie.)
Brownie 2- she's so pretty and, ahem, blond! (She was named after the other Brownie who was Krunchy's littermate, who was runover on my birthday. Devestating to everyone. And she was "Pinky's" special dog. So the next week, I gave in to those tears of loss. We tried Sunshine, Goldie but only Brownie would do. How could I say NO to that face?)
Biscuit - spastic, hyper and intelligent little hyper dog. Oh, did I mention he's hyper?
3 indoor cats
Murphy (Anna, Josephina, Elizabeth) Brown, Investigative Kitty - my 15-year-old cat, I've known her longer than just about anybody, we've been through a lot together, she's my "divorce kitty", she saved my life when I was down and out. (Since his 3rd marriage, she's mellowed and is a super nice kitty. She fit in way before the Loon did.)
Lily - Pinky Brewster's beautiful cat, loving and sweet and incredibly clumsy! (She has been to school. She's a celebrity.)
Smoke - The Babe Wife's "special friend", the most beautiful silver coat you've ever seen. Named after Babe's fav driver, Tony Stewart (See? I'm secure!) he is her "dog-cat" in that he acts and lays on the floor like a dog, he's the little dog she never had! (Smoke does tricks for his treats. He can jump pretty high. And he loves to lick Meredith's butt. So I call him the official butt-licker.)
What should I wear ladies, to an interview? I don't own a full blown suit. Any suggestions? And if I wear open toed sandals, should my nails be painted? Are hose required, or is skin OK?
Help me out ladies. Not taking comments from over-sexed men.
For years I have had a dream. One that keeps me up late at night. It wakens me from a dead sleep. The thought of running a team of dogs along the mountains in Alaska makes my heart race. The idea of having not just 3 dogs, but 300 dogs makes me giddy like a school girl. And scooping the poop. Oh, the smell of the decaying feces in the heat of an Iowa summer, just makes me wanna snap a photo as a keepsake. And exercising my team of dogs. Yes, exercising my dogs. I can't wait to get up every morning at 5 to take the team out. And again in the evening. Depending upon the time of year, sometimes late into summer's night. In the winter running early while it is snowing and blowing. The more bitter the wind, the better.
Yes, dear readers, this has been a dream. The reality? I don't have enough money to feed 300 dogs. I don't have enough money to add a cat to the house. And exercise? I barely have enough time every morning to walk the 3 dogs I have. And today, they got all excited over a coon up the road. I could hardly contain them. They almost dragged me down the gravel road. Wouldn't that have been a sight? Some middle-aged woman being dragged by a pack of wild dogs. I wonder if I could have called in sick? And last but not least, where would we put 300 dogs? We have almost 5 acres of land. Every inch is taken. We have an east woods. We have an open field. We have a veggie garden, herb garden, west woods, north woods and the open range of the front yard. Doesn't seem to me that we have enough room for any more dogs. Instead, I think I'll get back to my dream of being in a punk band. I already have a name for my band.....keep on blogging folks. I can't tell you everything in one blog.
Check out my new side-project, the Land O'Loon.
I'll be sharing things from around the 'net that might not fit in between gardening tips, child-rearing questions and rips on me.
Don't worry, I'll still be here with those oh-so-popular, comment-driving posts that have made Looney Talk the hottest site on the web.
So for all your fart jokes, stupid signs, inappropriate humor and
MONTY PYTHON - LOTS AND LOTS OF MONTY PYTHON
needs, head over to the Land O'Loon.
There appears to be a campaign under way by The Babe Wife, Pinky Brewster and even Iron Man, to add to our in-house cat population. We already have three (3) indoor cats:
Murphy Brown, my 15-year-old, cranky, hairball-puking, old-lady cat;
Lily, beautiful, nice and clumsiest cat you'll meet;
Smoke, Ang's precious dog-cat, with a beautiful silver coat, crazy, dog-like poses, attacking the other cats and generally being a pain in the arse (he's a cat, after all!)
The object of our affections is Meredith, a gorgeous, sweetheart, tiny little calico. So I ask you, dear readers:
How many indoor cats are enough?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Girls, would you date straight hair guy over curly-headed dude?
Guys, would you?
Kids, who is better looking curly hair?
Boss, who would you hire?
Officials predict more district consolidation
Associated Press State and school leaders say there is a new wave of school district consolidation that could alter the landscape of education in Iowa. The consolidation is happening in school districts that are facing budget crunches because of shrinking enrollment, skyrocketing expenses and troubles cutting back. And the cash-strapped schools arent getting the same type of help they used to from the state. Theyre in a real balancing act,said Judy Jeffrey, director of the Iowa Department of Education.I think theres going to be another wave of consolidation. Just how many Iowa school districts will consolidate depends on whether some can dig themselves out of a financial hole. State officials say enrollment has dropped in twothirds of Iowas 362 school districts. Those districts lose more than $5,000 in state aid for each student who leaves. District leaders were warned last spring that 60 school districts were on track to operate in the red in 2008 and 2009. I see right now more districts in potential financial difficulty than Ive seen in the almost nine years Ive been doing this,said Larry Sigel, school finance director for the Iowa Association of School Boards. He helps train school leaders on how to manage their budgets. Experts say Iowas tradition of local control had enabled even the smallest school district to survive, but thats changing. In 2004, lawmakers started to phase out a state budget guarantee that bailed out schools struggling with declining enrollment. And last year, the Legislature gave the Iowa Board of Education power to shut down school districts that run in the red for two years in a row. The new practice has been put to use. Last spring, the boards members shut down the Russell school district, where leaders blamed financial troubles on declining enrollment and mismanagement. Jeffrey said that sent a message to other districts. Some schools had made major efforts to avoid Russells fate. For example, residents in the West Bend-Mallard district in northwest Iowa raised $850,000 to save their school district. But voters in some districts have opted not to keep their school districts open. Voters in Taylor County decided not to bail New Market out of its financial hole. In Millersburg, the towns only school will be empty this time next year if voters agree to merge the Deep River-Millersburg and English Valleys school districts, which have about 600 students between them. I think people have accepted the inevitable,said Twila Gerard, 67, a town historian who was part of Deep RiverMillersburgs first graduating class in 1958. Theres not enough children.
Now that the Olympics are over what are we going to be talking about and watching every night? Looks like the democratic convention this week.
I know politics and families don't mix. So conservative family members, be forewarned!
Here's just a couple of things I would like to point out.
1. I have one house and one house only. It's not a big house, but it's home.
2. Hanky Panky. It's great until you get caught. It feels good so you do it. No one WANTS to get caught, but sometimes it just happens. Kinda like taking a dump when you are at someone else's house. You don't want to but it just needs to be released.
3. Politicians are PAID to talk about how great they are. The rest of us have to figure out ways to make ourselves sound not so self-serving when having a conversation with our friends/families/co-workers.
4. The last haircut I had, I paid $25 and that was with an eight dollar tip. What did Obama and McCain pay?
5. Does knowing the names of foreign countries make a person experienced to run the country as the president?
It will be interesting to watch, the DNC this week. I know I will because of my job. And when I get home, we'll be catching up on all the shows we missed because of the Olympics.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Readers, can you believe I overheard this? I never met a dog who has arms, but I found out last night that my Biscuit has two arms. And he had a stick through one of his arms. Can you believe that?
Friday, August 22, 2008
Mark this up as experience is all I can rationally say. As you know millions of readers, I am on a career quest. In doing so, I have been hitting all the Internet sites of available jobs in the area. Everyday I hit it hard from the comfort of my own living room. It is quite easy and I have been finding a lot of different job opportunities. Now, however, the computer and myself have a relationship similar my marriage. We respect each other but sometimes we aren't on the same page. And once something is said, written, checked, or marked, and the SEND button is launched, it is out there forever.
Here's the completely insane part. I am applying for an editing position. One that requires me to look over other people's words and papers and whatever else they want me to read over for corrections or edit. Detail-oriented and all that jazz. Well...OK. So from the comfort of home, I fill out an application. I attach a resume and cover letter. I go through the painful, lengthy process of filling out the employment application and quickly read the other unimportant pages that require either a yes or no checked. Hell, who cares, right? Yes I agree to that. Yes, I comply to all that. Yes, I am a convicted felon. WHAT? I checked YES that I have been convicted of a crime other than a simple traffic violation or misdemeanor. OH S**T. F**K!!!!!! Now what have I done?????? I got an email back from this prestigious company, the company that employs about half of Iowa City and anyone who needs a job that knows how to write or edit. Yeah, they said they could not use a person who is a convicted felon. "BUT I'M NOT" I plead. "I simply checked the wrong box. I didn't read the fine print." My pleas go unheard. It doesn't matter. Now I may as well BE a convicted felon to them. Nothing I say or refill out will ever change that. Yes I checked. F**king YES I checked. So stupid. I am so stupid for not reading all the fine print. The boring print. The material I gaze at and say to myself, "too much boring stuff to think about much less read. " So I say to you my fellow readers, you too can be a convicted felon if you don't read the fine print. I guess I would not have been a very good EDITOR would I?
Based on a real-life band from Brooklyn, it is the story of brothers Paul and David Zablidowsky and their good friend Joey Cassata, who play in the metal band "Z02", which has opened for Kiss.
However, to make ends meet, they also perform at children's birthday parties and bar mitzvahs as "The Z Brothers".
From the press release:
In the show the band members play fictionalized versions of themselves, exaggerating their actual experiences — including a pitched rivalry with other New York-based children's musicians — pursuing the recording contract that long eluded them.
Like the dialogue in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "This Is Spinal Tap," much of that in "Z Rock" is improvised, though with the players working off highly detailed outlines. Most of the situations in which their characters are placed by the show's writers and producers — who include Mark Farrell, a former producer of "Curb" — are adapted from tales the band told in hours spent sitting around a table.
For a supporting cast the producers surrounded the musicians with stand-up comedians and improv players, including Lynne Koplitz (who plays the band's dedicated if addled manager, Dina); Greg Giraldo (as a powerful record producer, who delivers an endlessly profane reprimand to Paulie Z after the band is late for his son's birthday party); and Jay Oakerson (as a club manager who repeatedly propositions Paulie, who is straight).
Among the many musicians playing fictionalized versions of themselves in cameos are John Popper of Blues Traveler (who agrees to sign the Z Brothers, not ZO2, to a recording contract, but only after Dina sleeps with him); Dee Snider of Twisted Sister; and Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors. Joan Rivers plays Joan Rivers, but reimagined as Dina's aunt.
"It seems on the show like we're reckless, but we're not in real life," Mr. Cassata said. "We never put the ZO2 career in jeopardy. That stuff is definitely artistic license.""Z Rock" premieres this Sunday night, Aug. 24 at 11:30 p.m. ET.
1.. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)Pandy Ranger
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)Vanilla Chocolate Chip
New York Fudge Snickerdoodle
Cookie Dough Peanut Butter
3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)T-Loo
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)Detective Black Dog
Detective Black Cat
Detective Purple Owl
Detective Pink Panda
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)Michael Solon (that sounds like a porn name LOON!)
Diane St Luke
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)The Red Whiskey
The Purple Coffee
The Orange Cola
The Light Purple Gatorade
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)Deyo
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)Drakkar M&M
Paris Hilton Starburst
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names )Phelan S.
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher's last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)Fiala Fresno
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)Fall Morning Glory
Halloween Bleeding Heart
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now + "ie" or "y")Banana Shorty
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)Coffee Cottonwood
Cereal Christmas Tree
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + "Tour")The Drums Raining Tour
The Guitar Thunderstorm Tour
The Sudoku Storm Tour
The Volleyball Snow Tour
GIVE IT A SWIRL AND TELL US YOUR NEW NAMES! I will add your new names to our list if you send them in to us.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I hereby apologize for my terrible
From here on out, I
Further more, any and all personal details of my
In closing, I'd like to quote
Manager: I want to apologize, humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.
Man : Oh please, it's only a tiny bit... I couldn't see it.
Manager: Ah you're good kind fine people, for saying that, but I can see it.., to me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus.
Man: It's not as bad as that.
Manager: It gets me here. I can't give you any excuses for it - there are no excuses. I've been meaning to spend more time in the restaurant recently, but I haven't been too well...
AND NOW THE PUNCH-LINE
Man: Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife.
Back to School....I remember those good ole' days of getting ready to go back to school. Opening up my new box of crayons and smelling them. Filled with the inspiration to become a better "colorer" than Becky Griffin. Holding my number 2 pencil in my hand and convincing myself I will beat Karen Kudrna with a higher grade. And just knowing that I won win a recess race against Barry Bentley. No, it never happened but the dream of doing all those still occupies the dark caverns of my mind. Now, my kids Pinky Brewster and Iron Man are participating in the back to school rituals. Do they have those same inspirations that I did when I was a kid? Probably not. But that is OK. I really don't want them to. What are their hopes and dreams? Right now, the biggest one is "to quit band!" Oh, for the grace of Mozart, you can't quit band. It is an easy A. Unless you don't go to your lessons. Pinky Brewster will tell you all about that.
Puppy Love?.....As you readers may know, dogs or the dream of having more dogs occupies the future here in Looney Land. What, may I ask you, is the number one consideration to keep in mind when raising dogs? Comments are encouraged.
Career Change vs Job Change.....It hits like a divorce. Sometimes you want it, sometimes you know it's coming but don't want to admit, and sometimes it just hits you in the face without expecting it. Readers I ask you what is your definition of career change vs job change. Words of wisdom (I know you Looney's are full of this!) and ways to keep the ole mind from going insane.
In closing....I had given my resignation as writer of the Looney Talk post. However, after careful consideration and talks with the management, we have come to an agreement and my columns will keep coming provided as it does not exhibit bad taste, intimate conversations, intimate actions (unless it has to do with enormous size or amount of sex ) or anything else that would look, say, indicate, presume, suggest, imply or paint my immediate family in a way that would be considered piggish, less than appealing, stinky, jerk, prick, stubborn, or any other type of adjectives that a spouse wouldn't want the other spouse to say about them in public.
Owners of the building applied for the order after Hinton was accused of threatening people who lived in the building after they complained about their noisy sex life.
Neighbors said numerous times they were woken up with the sound of her headboard repeatedly banging against the wall. One woman told the court that her young daughter was left suffering nightmares and bed wetting because of what she had heard. Another man complained of having to take time off work because of the sleepless nights.
Maybe they should've posted notes like these (from http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
- Ex-leper: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper?
- Brian: Did you say... "ex-leper"?
- Ex-leper: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
- Brian: Well, what happened?
- Ex-leper: Oh cured, sir.
- Brian: Cured?
- Ex-leper: Yes, sir. A bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
- Brian: Who cured you?
- Ex-leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.
- Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
- Ex-leper: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir.
- Mandy: Brian! Come in 'ere and clean your room!
- Brian: Alright [drops a coin in ex-leper's cup]]
- Ex-Leper: Thank you, sir, thank y - half a denarii?! For me bloody life story?
- Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
- Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
It's a great story about two creative writers, who use the internet to settle the intimate details of their life. One is not very happy about this. The other thrives off the emotions being exposed to the world.
They are a happily married couple until it comes to their blog. The gloves come off and the slug fest begins.
Episode One: Sign on doors reads DO NOT DISTURB
(Looks like they have kissed and made up.)
Tune in next week when one writer gets a chance to write for the local newspaper as a columnist.
Monday, August 18, 2008
- Mandy: Your father was a Roman.
- Brian: You mean... you were RAPED?!
- Mandy: Well... at first, yes.
- Brian: I'm not a roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
It's almost over, so let's try to hang on to it as long as we can. Name your favorite summertime drink, leave your recipe, and tell us WHY you like it. Don't be shy slushes:)
1. Cold Beer-I like Corona with fresh squeezed lime. You can't beat this.
Nearing Grace-Set in 1978 New Jersey, a high school senior who falls for the rich spoiled girl who abuses him for her own selfish ways. Meanwhile, his one true friend watches without telling him how she feels about him. ANother movie with nostaglic music. Lots of dope smoking. I am not sure I remember high school like that. Loon says he's not ready to see this one right away. (Am I right, Loon?)
Six Feet Under-Season 2-Yeah, I know it's not a film, but for what it for is this is some of the best acting, writing, directing, photography ever on the small screen. We have been stringing ourselves with this series. Because it is so intense and deep, we watch one episode and think about it for a week or more. Now, we have just finished season 2 and it is like missing your best friend while away at college. Wow, is all I can say about the finale. Totally amazing. IF you have not seen this series, start. Let us know, it makes a great gift for the holidays.
With summer half over and the weeds high in the garden, I have finally gotten my tiller back to the garden. If you remember, it has been broken for well over 6 weeks. So during that time, I decided to not fight the weeds, the grass, the insanity of it all and leave the garden to grow by itself. Now, I am dealing with the aftermath. Imagine, leaving your children for six weeks, letting them eat or drink whatever they can. Wild to the wind. Yes, that is what my garden has become. We tried to dig the potatoes. Oh, last year it was the great Irish Potato famine. This year was different. I had great big plants. They looked luscious. Until the tiller broke. Now, we had to look thru the tall grass to find the brown stems of a once alive potatoe. Digging into the dirt, hard has stone. It felt like clay. Mud clay. Isn't that what the Native Americans used to make their eating utensils? All the onions were still out there as well. Their stems had all but dried up. I found some, dug them up and they had grown about half an inch. Seriously. Now, I am contemplating not putting out a garden next year, and support the local farmer's market. Those tomotoes, they are having some blooms but that shaking them everyday is getting a little old. I can only shake so much, ya know? The lesson to be learned here is this, when you use those little red flags out there to spot a row, pick them up when the plant starts growing. They don't need to be tilled into the soil.
What did ‘e say?
He said blessed are the greek.
The greek? Whaddya wanna bless them for?
No, no, he said blessed are the meek!
Oh, I'm glad they're getting something, they have a hell of a time.
We're waiting to watch US Women's Volleyball today.
Tell us WHO you are watching
Friday, August 15, 2008
- [The audience members at the back of the crowd are having trouble hearing the Sermon on the Mount.]
- Man: I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers"!
- Gregory's wife: What's so special about the cheesemakers?
- Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Have you ever had one of those days? New technology, new car place, new shoes, and finding a new job all in one hour? Well folks, it happened to me just the other day. It has taken me over 48 hours to get over it and it still leaves me believing that I must be a 7th grader inside a middle-aged woman's body.
Back in June, I wisely purchased a new-to-me Honda Pilot. We refer to it as the "Cadillac" because it has leather interior, heated seats, and everyone knows Loonies don't drive super nice looking cars. Nice cars, but not super looking good cars. Not on this branch of the family tree for instance. Well, what can I say, I guess I didn't read the fine print before signing the marriage certificate? Anways, I also am looking for a new job. Possibly a new career but definitely a job that is from 8 to 5.
Now back to the day. When I needed the oil changed in my new to me "Cadillac" instead of going to my beloved friends, I went to the dealer because of the maintenance agreement we signed up for. Oh, did I mention, we Loonies never sign up for maintenance agreements-except for this time.
Now this day I decided to dress-up for work and wear a new dress with matching shoes. Why? At this time in my life, middle age, I am trying to dress for success that is what I am doing. Trying to boost my already practically non-existent self esteem. My beautiful new shoes seem to be too high with no support. However, they are beautiful sling-back charcoal grey sandals. Did I mention they are missing rubber soles? So that means they are slippery on any surface other than gravel.
So, now I am wearing shoes that I don't feel comfortable in, going to a car place that I don't feel comfortable in, and my "Cadillac" is covered in a thick layer of gravel dust and grime. Dressed for success? My new to me "Cadillac" needs a car washing. So, I decided to try out a car wash. I have been to this car wash, but not in awhile, obviously. I pull up, and realize I don't have exact change. So I put in a ten spot and the machine REJECTS it. What the f**k I say. I try again. Rejected again. So I start putting in dollar bills. No, they won't accept this one, but they do the other. But I only have 5 dollars and I needed six. The last Washington I had got rejected. So, turning off my "Cadillac" leaving it parked directly in front of the car wash I walk into the convenience store. The lines are six people deep, on both cash register's. Did I say this was over the lunch hour? It was. So I pull aside a clerk and ask her, "Do you have anything to do with that car wash out there? It won't take my cash. She says, " I will help you, stand in line Mam." Did I say there were about 12 people already standing in line? Did I tell you that I couldn't stand up without slipping while walking into line? Well, now I just did. So, I stood in line. Dressed for success. In beautiful shoes that I couldn't stand up in. In a pretty dress but sliding all over the place. I jumped gracefully to the next cashier when that line became shorter. That cashier who didn't KNOW me had no idea WHAT I was talking about when I asked her about the car wash. I had to start over. That machine out there won't accept my CASH. I explained I filled up on pump 3 and went to get a car wash. I already put in this much money and it won't accept my other bills and I just wanted to wash my dirty, filthy, "Cadillac" that I obviously have no business driving around in because dressed for success only means I am fooling NO ONE. So flatly she hands me a receipt with a code to punch in. THE HOLY CODE. Walking back to the car wash without trying to fall off my towering heels, I try to compose my dignity. I punch in the code, only I punch in the wrong code, three different times. Did I say I was beginning to have a bad day? Now it is confirmed. I am having a bad, bad day. Got the code punched in right, so I drive in. Of course I drive too far and have to back up. My mirrors are getting hit by this huge red thing. What have I done? Am I going to have the paint peeled off my "Cadillac" before I even paid my second car payment? Did I mention that I don't even have to make the payments? Yes, I am a spoiled rich girl driving a "Cadillac" that Sugar-Daddy pays for. Except we are Loonies, the Sugar Daddy reminds me on a daily basis.
Then, I get the phone call that I have been waiting for. The one call that will step up my career. You know, make me successful. My heart is pounding. But, I have all the confidence of a two-ton elephant. I am a Looney. Then I hear it. "We are interviewing candidates and sorry but you are not one of them."
In disbelief, I don't even get into the interview portion of the job? "What?" I asked unbelieving to my ears. "Sorry," the voice says on the other end, "You don't have enough experience. " De Ja Vu.....those were the words said to me over 20 years ago when I got into this biz. Now, officially I am having the WORST day of my career.
Morale of this story...."Cadillacs" are nice to look at as I'm driving my beat-up Ford.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
So I've decided to post a daily (or weekly, bi-weekly, whenever the F I feel like it!) quote from LOB.
We start where we should - at the beginning...
- The Nativity: in a stable in Bethlehem, a baby lies in a manger. His mother, Mandy, is startled by the noise as three camels arrive outside.]
- Mandy: Aarrgh! Who are you?
- Wise Man 2: We are three wise men.
- Mandy: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
- Wise Man 3: We are astrologers.
- Wise Man 2: We have come from the East.
- Mandy: Is this some kind of joke?
- Wise Man 1: We wish to praise the infant.
- Wise Man 2: We must pay homage to him.
- Mandy: Homage? You're drunk, it's disgusting! Out! The lot, out! Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
- Wise Man 1: No, no, we must see him.
- Mandy: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
- Wise Man 2: We were led by a star.
- Mandy: Led by a bottle, more like. Get out!
- Wise Man 3: We must see him. We have brought gifts.
- Mandy: OUT!
- Wise Men: Gold! Frankincense! Myrrh!
- Mandy: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there.....Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh anyway?
- Wise Man 3: It is a valuable balm.
- Mandy: A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.
- Wise Man 3: What?
- Mandy: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
- Wise Man 1: No, it isn't.
- Mandy: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
- Wise Man 3: No, no, no. It is an ointment.
- Mandy: Aww, there is an animal called a balm,... or did I dream it? So, you're astrologers, eh? Well, what is he then?
- Wise Men: Hmm?
- Mandy: What star sign is he?
- Wise Man 1: Capricorn.
- Mandy: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
- Wise Man 2: He is the son of God... our Messiah.
- Wise Man 1: King of the Jews.
- Mandy: And that's Capricorn, is it?
- Wise Man 3: No, no — that's just him.
- Mandy: Oh. I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
Name your top 5 music artists that inspired you. Music that made you turn the corner on your life journey. Music that set you in motion.
Share with us why you choose said artists.
Don't you just love LISTS!
1. The Beatles
(Without the Beatles, I would have been listening to Cher over and over.)
2. Fleetwood Mac
(Spending hours and hours listening to their music, playing their music on the piano, and NOW learning the music while strumming the guitar, it is ageless to me and still awesome. Plus, Lindsey Buckingham is one of the greatest guitarist I have ever seen both in person and heard on a record!)
(These guys brought the big hair of the 80's and early 90's back to the reality of what it is, metal. Head banging and heart pounding, ravaging metal. )
(Long time my favorite band, as a teenager and as an adult. Yes, I did take some Queen time off when I thought they went too POP. However, before Freddie died, got back into them with Innuendo and was back in. That was what 17 years ago? Now, Queen is often played every Friday night as part of Loon and my Friday Night Music Night play list. As a guitar player,now I am listening closely to the guitar parts and I am totally amazed by Brian May. Love him. He also is one of the greatest guitar players ever.)
5. The Replacements
This band was one of my FAV band's during college, early professional career. They never sold out, just dropped out. And now, I am finding out that some of my favorite music today (Uncle Tupelo, Son Volt, Wilco, The 100s) may have been influenced either directly or indirectly because of this Minneapolis based band. How cool is that? Totally:)
And the final band....(Yeah, I can count but it is my BLOG and I can do whatever the hell I want......plus I live with this man and you guys don't so you know what you can do if you don't agree with me.....F**k off! :)
6. The 100s
(Without these guys, I may not be sitting here in the living room writing this review. And I certainly wouldn't be a guitar player. They have totally inspired me in all aspects of my life. That drummer is so CUTE.)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Rank the TOP 5 MOVIES of ALL TIME
1. Schindler's List
2. Johnny Stechinno
Tell me all about your rankings..why you did it...what makes the film one of your fav's...and other impertinent info.
After more than six weeks of being in the garage and/or shop, the tiller is back to work. The garden of weeds sprinkled with remains of vegetables is in shambles. The chickens loved having me till the garden yesterday. Absolutely enjoyed being able to roll in the dust and take a long bath. IT was a great opportunity for them to peck at the insect I tilled up.
I still can't find the potatoes. The grass is almost as tall as me.
Maybe next year I won't plant so much garden, and spend more time watching movies?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The Wind in the Barley-Another intense film, this time 1920's Ireland. Authentic costumes, scenery, mannerisms, lanuage, a great look at what it was like during that particular turbulent time in Ireland's history.
Picnic at Hanging Rock-An Australian film adapted from a novel. What really got me is there wasn't the resolution in the film I needed. Quite frankly, I was very disappointed. Set during victorian times in Australia, lots of sexual undertones. Loon and I were again predicting what the next line would be. Kudos to the Loon, he won that round. Maybe the resolution would be in the novel?
Ed TV-Yeah, I liked this one. Directed by Ron Howard so right there you know it will be cute and funny. Ellen DeGeneres was great. She should have her own TV show:) If you need an uplifting funny comedy this is one to put in the machine. Matthew McCaughney and Jenna Elfman were cute together. Woody Harrelson plays Mac's brother. Would love to see those to in a Natural Born Killers sequel titled, "the Brothers" could be interesting.
Best in Show-This was a great funny comedic mock documentary. Written off kilter so to speak. Loved the characters and the dogs. Parker Posey played a great annoying dog owner. She is my least favorite actress by the way. Fred Willard, he was great an the play by play announcer a t the dog show. And Eugene Levy as the husband of Catherine O'Hara. The dog owner with a past of hundreds of lovers. Great film, worth the laughs.
Almost Famous-A great film about a young budding rock journalist following around the band on a tour. Stillwater is the band. Kate Hudson is the band date who the young journalist falls in love with. Great scenes. Good music. Set in 1973, I was a little young but I remember going to parties similiar to what the band was at. Especially the Topeka, Kansas party. Loved the guys in the band, loved the band dates, there is a purpose-to appreciate the music. If you ever wanted to be in a touring band, this is a must see film.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
In February of 2009, all television broadcasters in the United States are required to stop broadcasting in standard format and only broadcast a Digital Signal.
If you have a traditional TV and you have cable service or satelite, you should NOT have to do anything. They should be making the transition themselves. Your old analog TV should be fine.
If you use an antenna to receive the local stations, you will need to do one of of the following:
Buy a "digital-to-analog converter box" available for $50 - $60. There is a $40 coupon available from the government website (thanks, Uncle Sam?) at http://www.dtv.gov/. It hooks in between the antenna and TV and allows you to view your local channels.
Purchase a "digital-ready" television set from a reputable dealer. Plug in antenna, watch your local stations.
Now HDTV (High Definition TeleVision) is a DIFFERENT issue!
While digital is the means of sending the signal, hi-def is a type of signal. It is a wide-screen (16X9 vs 4X3 standard def), high-resolution picture. True HD can only be viewed on a HD television set. On a standard set, the side edges will be cut off, the resolution average.
Currently, the broadcast networks are airing some of their programming in HD. The local stations pass it on. As time goes on, more programming will be produced in HD.
Cable companies and satellite distributors are putting out more and more HD channels - seeking to have upwards of 150 channels by the first of the year!
So, a converter box is fine for casual viewers of local stations.
An HDTV set will allow the viewing of high-quality images. Smaller HD sets are very reasonably priced. Good-sized (36" or so) flat-screen, LCD or plasma sets begin around $600. Large sreens can be had for around $1,000.
Now, you can view your old VHS and DVDs on any set. Recording HD programming is a different issue altogether!
And "Blu-ray" won the DVD format battle (HD-DVD meet Betamax) so to watch HD DVDs you'll need a new DVD player...
This will take years to work itself out!
Imagine, sitting on your summer deck looking out into the yard. The green, green grass of home. Red delicious Dahlia's covered with blooms, salmon-colored Petunia's twinking eyes in the wind and the magnificant beauty of the Stargazer Lily.
As you sit there one dog day of summer morn, you notice the vines that have circled the Canna's great trunk. The old bicycle placed in the center of the flower bed to add to the funkiness of your flower bed is gone. Completely swallowed. The cries from the Bleeding Heart are wasted on deaf ears. The Morning Glories have taken over. Just like the fog coming up from the Wapsi, so to have the monsters of the summer, the Morning Glories.
This film has not yet been rated. Due to the graphic nature of the lifestyle of the fawna, the board of directors has not yet released their findings. They believe their Chairmen of the Board is lost in a bed of Morning Glories.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Loved Hot Fuzz. Funny. Captivating. Cutting Edge Editing. Will have to watch just to study the technique. Those brits are so creative, hey?
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Babe and I watched two movies starring Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead): Hot Fuzz 2007 and Big Nothing 2006.
Hot Fuzz was a great movie, co-written by Pegg. Fast-paced action, hot editing made for a frenetic movie. Co-starring Pegg's friend Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz was a satirical look at cop movies, with a quirky twist. Super Cop Pegg is sent to a small English village where nothing ever happens - or so they claim. Even if the action was somewhat predictable, the two actor's charms always held your attention. And the twist of the plot was creative. Truly a classic British comedy.
Big Nothing is another story. Co-starring David Schwimmer, the one redeeming value of this film might just be the acting of Pegg, playing a scumbag as opposed to his usual turn as the hero. However, even with the constant twists to the plot, the writing didn't pull it off. Almost cartoon-ish in storyline, the "surprises" became predictable. Possibly a waste of an evening.
So, big thumbs up for Hot Fuzz, thumbs down for Big Nothing.
Oh, but my goodness did they look good on the plasma!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
We've got a turned-over and pushed 27 inch regular old-fashion TV that is not working. Owner says he "accidentally" pushed it over by cleaning out the rat's nest of wires underneath....
No pulse....No brain waves....
WE need a Plasma TV, stat!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
ANd the worst thing is this. WE finally got our tiller part picked up from the local hardware store. THey fixed it by getting a new part. It cost almost $50. Ouch! So, here's the lesson in tilling the garden. Pick up those frickin' red flags instead of tilling them into the soil. It could save you $50. Tim still loves me, I just have a lot of making up to do. Don't bother us for a couple of days if you know what I mean.:)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Keep posted to our blog as we (Tim and myself) will be posting on YouTube several of the songs the guys played yesterday. Not only did the guys sound great, they looked great too. Fun was had by all. The dancers were there, for every song swaying to the sound of the guitar....the family was there cheering on their favorite musician and tons and tons of new fans stopped by to check out the scene. Stay tuned, a detailed report will be filed. Now, time to get moving. Literally.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Alejandro Escovedo (3) cuts from his new CD Real Animal. "Nuns Song" "Chip n' Tony" and "Hollywood Hills"
Nuns and Hollywood Hills are both really great Al songs. Nuns is more rocking with an incredible drum performance by Hector Munoz. The more I listen, the more I absorb it. Hollywood Hills really highlights the brillance of Al and his orchestra. The strings don't define his music, they provide the depth of the creative soul. Chip n Tony is a great rock n roll bar song, perhaps a bit predictable but it is what it is.
Neal Coty-Tim picked this and I was blown away that I had never heard of this guy. He played two cuts from Chance & Circumstance and Legacy. He'll have to fill you in on the actual song names, as I am not sure. To sum up this man, Neal Coty, great alt-country sound and feel to his music. Where has he been? I want to take these CD's and put them in my car and listen to them. Who cares if they are ten years old, they are new to me now!
The Replacements-CD Don't Tell a Soul cut "Achin' to Be"
I wanted to share some of my old music with Tim and I choose this song because if memory served me, it was one of my favorites and had some grittiness that I thought Tim would appreciate. After listening, I was right. Yes, it had some of that 80 polished punkness to it, but there is a great alt-country beat, harmonica, and that roughness that makes them one of the great bands from the 80's.
John Mellencamp-CD Human Wheels
Tim's Choice. Now, since I was totally blown away by this and unfamiliar with the CD, I'm not sure which cut he chose? Incredible. Tim really pulled this out of his basement of fine, fitting tunes. Mellencamp put together a great band and sound. I used to listen to him way, way back in the days when he was Cougar ya know. He was there in my car, in my bedroom singing to me everynight and morning (in that order) and I couldn't believe that I had left him like a used boyfriend who didn't have a car. Pleasantly pleased I was with this. Nice job Tim. You win Producer's Excellence this evening with 2 great picks. Tim Up by 2.
Keith Richards-Talk is Cheap "Struggle"
I wanted to surprise Tim with something he may have not heard before. And this was one. Not as brillant as Mellencamp or a catch as Neal Coty, but a surprise. If you have never heard Richards sing, you should at least give it a spin and make your own conclusion. Not everyone is a singer and there is a reason. Enough said.
Tim's choice and again, I don't know which cut. However, it was cool. Great voice, good arrangement of instruments. It has that sound of the faintest of the vocal, strong sound but the effect makes it seem like the voice is far off. I'm sure there is a technical term for it but for now I'll just call it "spacey" because that seems to fit.
Sinead O'Connor-CD "I Don't Want WHat I Haven't Got" title cut
In keeping with the theme of spaciness, I pulled this one out of my collection. It had not been in the CD player for years and years but I was glad I did. This cut is over a 5 minute accapella piece that maintains perfect pitch throughout, we swear no edits. Incredible voice Sinead has and I wanted to play more cuts but will have to save them for next friday. I got Tim with this.
Kathleen Edwards-CD Asking for FLowers
You now by now the routine. Angie doesn't know the cut Tim provided however, what he played was amazing. Kathleen had violens, and other great instrument arrangements. If you are a fan, you should be pleased with the direction of this artist. She is taking huge strides in growing as an artist and songwriter. Deeper more emotional musicanship yet not being pretenous. (IS there spell check in this program?:)
Jason Castro-American Idol "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
We had to see if this performance held up in time. It has only been six months, and I would conclude that it does indeed. He is cute and all, but has a style all his own that fits him. I would look forward to his own CD that I'm sure he'll release after all the Idol stuff is over.
Annie Lennox/Dave Stewart Unplugged "Here Comes the Rain, Again"
Everytime I see this, hear this I get chills. Chills of brillance, chills of emotions, chills of love lost. These two are masters of their profession. You can't top this.
Annie Lennox is the best female vocalist of all time. IF you are a vocalist, listen to her, watch her. Her phrasing, her vocal pitch, tone, emphasis is perfection of each and every note. Her whole body is her instrument.
Magnolia Electric Co. DVD
Tim played me some of the boxed set he borrowed from buddy and fellow 100 Dave Pedersen. Needless to say, Angie had her fill of friday night beer and after laying on the couch to relax and listen to tunes, ended up falling asleep during the DVD. NOw, I did watch for awhile so my review will be limited and short. Great pictures of the countryside of Canada. The songs (what I heard in limited viewing) were subdued yet peaceful and dark. Nothing rocked me awake is what I mean. That is ok. I didn't need to be shook awake. I need to give this another try, like say today while Tim is getting ready to perform tonight at Hoover fest. So, I am not putting this down, need more time to listen with an alert mind.
Overall night: Tim wins with the male vocalist the Neal Coty find. Angie wins female vocalist category with the Sinead O'Conner song.