So I've decided to post a daily (or weekly, bi-weekly, whenever the F I feel like it!) quote from LOB.
We start where we should - at the beginning...
- The Nativity: in a stable in Bethlehem, a baby lies in a manger. His mother, Mandy, is startled by the noise as three camels arrive outside.]
- Mandy: Aarrgh! Who are you?
- Wise Man 2: We are three wise men.
- Mandy: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
- Wise Man 3: We are astrologers.
- Wise Man 2: We have come from the East.
- Mandy: Is this some kind of joke?
- Wise Man 1: We wish to praise the infant.
- Wise Man 2: We must pay homage to him.
- Mandy: Homage? You're drunk, it's disgusting! Out! The lot, out! Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
- Wise Man 1: No, no, we must see him.
- Mandy: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
- Wise Man 2: We were led by a star.
- Mandy: Led by a bottle, more like. Get out!
- Wise Man 3: We must see him. We have brought gifts.
- Mandy: OUT!
- Wise Men: Gold! Frankincense! Myrrh!
- Mandy: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there.....Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh anyway?
- Wise Man 3: It is a valuable balm.
- Mandy: A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.
- Wise Man 3: What?
- Mandy: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
- Wise Man 1: No, it isn't.
- Mandy: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
- Wise Man 3: No, no, no. It is an ointment.
- Mandy: Aww, there is an animal called a balm,... or did I dream it? So, you're astrologers, eh? Well, what is he then?
- Wise Men: Hmm?
- Mandy: What star sign is he?
- Wise Man 1: Capricorn.
- Mandy: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
- Wise Man 2: He is the son of God... our Messiah.
- Wise Man 1: King of the Jews.
- Mandy: And that's Capricorn, is it?
- Wise Man 3: No, no — that's just him.
- Mandy: Oh. I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
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